A Pox On Everything (and ect ect…)

Well. Not everything. Bit of an exaggeration there – sorry for misleading you all.

Things have been good.
So good, in fact, that I’ve pretty much abandoned most of my faux-social networking sites, most prominently my Twitter because frankly, I haven’t been stalking the internet enough to have anything socially to say on those sites anymore.
So I said a post ago that I was pretty convinced it was going to be 2000-and-fine and that ABC would indeed finally be somewhat in my grasp.

Update: that just didn’t happen. This is pretty much the standard my life has taken for many years (to a lesser extent for this year)

I made it to stage two again and, like last year, didn’t make it to stage three.
I was particularly emo for quite some time. Temporarily took time out to entertain my friend and draw on my walls with him and then when he left went back to being emo.

[Days later] It’s Thursday, and I had to take a few days to get over myself. It’s still 2000-and-fine

BIE: Brain Information Explosion

My brain, frankly, is not used to an information overload. Call it ‘laziness’ - I do.
Last Friday, I received an email from ABC saying that my application was okay enough for me to get to stage two of the application process.
I learned a very harsh lesson last year when I made it this far and I won’t be making that mistake again…no…
I had to check my email a couple of times to make sure that I actually made it this far, because this is what I’ve been thinking about all year (refer to two posts down).
But my God, my brain is going to explode from an information overload and I’m tired. Surprisingly, I’m not so nervous this time. But the test is on Thursday so things may change by then. But nonetheless I started a news/current affairs calendar list of sorts on my wall, and I’m tired.
I’m only up to April. Lame. Took a break to call my boyfriend to waste time, got a phone call from my brother-of-a-different-mother* and discussed U.S. Office for about an hour and I wasted quite a bit of time on social networking and here I am now.

SO MANY LISTS TO MAKE. TOO MANY NAMES.

My current Radio Production lecturer says that “intellegence is memory”. So, to be really honest, I’m quite scared. He also mentioned that everyone should read at least two books a month of different genres. I haven’t done that in a number of months. I should get back on that bandwagon because I actually miss reading.

I feel a bit delirious, so apologies at how erratic this update may be.

*and father

Stop being a dickhead on public transport, Sydney

That’s right. I’m looking squarely at YOU, people of Sydney.

Not all of you. It’s okay.

I’m directing it at the people who don’t like to wait for the bus to completely stop, instead you run toward the bus driving and just bang on the bus doors as the bus is about to drive toward the bus stop as if the bus driver just didn’t see you.
I’m directing it at you stupid jerks who can’t wait for five damn seconds so that the person in the wheelchair can actually get on the bus and you all climb on as if you wouldn’t have to move out of the way anyway, and you do the exact thing on trains aswell.
Also, how about you stop going back and forth looking at the timetable, and then looking at your watch, back to the timetable - HEY… your bus isn’t coming ANY FASTER.

….and to the woman with her grandson who got on to the bus and went off at the bus driver for being late at peak hour Sydney traffic time and then sat across from me and made your grandson take down his ID number so you can be a a typical cliche person who has such little drama in your life all you do is complain (you’re probably also the kind fo person who rings up talk back to continue the menial complaints): you wanker. What was even worse was your 7-year-old gransdon mouthed “fuck you” at the bus driver and I thought, “Well great. You’re clearly bringing up champions”

Have some effing respect.

This year, ABC, you will be MINE.

It’s time.

Time I’ve spent ALL YEAR preparing for.
All year trudging around with my notebook making small notes about what I think will possibly come up in the 2010 cadetship test (should I make it to that round).
All year recording and harbouring hours and hours of radio readyto edit for when the Wanted applications for Triple J come through.
And my GOD am I stressed and freaking out and deliberately distracting myself (this blog post is a very good example) as to not let me go back to the harsh realities of a week + committment to this application, and another for an AFTRS course and ironically distracting myself from the fact that there’s never enough time (yes, I know it’s stupid).
So here I am writing this entry, having a mini panic attack and determining whether I can successfully talk my way into a paid writing job when I got to the launch party of the Inner West Independant on Wednesday.

You know that feeling when you think, “I will have to put in serious effort right about now if I want to do what I want to do… and to be honest, I’m a little scared of the effort in case I may fail (yet again)”? Yeah I’m having that panic attack right now. I get that way when something I know I’ve really worked hard for is soooo very close.

Maybe I’ll talk to some food about this for a moment.

Schools and the education system from (mostly) a failure

Right now, I’m doing something rare and putting my Micallef Watch on hold to watch Insight on SBS (instead of watching online later) and currently they’re discussing the education system and whether the government(s) are failing in the quest to produce properly educated children eventualy turning into properly educated adults.

I’ll begin by saying five out of six years of my high school life, I was on a very rapid slide into failure. To the point where I look back on those years with a lot of bitterness and regret.

Bitterness at myself for basically not having enough balls to get up and leave the high school I chose for somewhere that had more than just a couple of my teachers actually teach me and helped me learn. Bitterness at certain school teachers for allowing my failure to happen, and bitterness at a school system that kept classes moving at such a rate that people like myself was so left behind that I still don’t know how to write an essay. I’m 24. I’ve been rejected from far too many universities because that is one of my main downfalls.
I learned about what it meant to have proper syntax structure and punctuation two years after I left high school. However, during high school, I was so frustrated at my writing performance and only one teacher sat down with me for many lunchtimes because he genuinely wanted to help me. He was my Modern History teacher and really the only education-related reason why I didn’t leave the school.

Fact: My English teacher once said that she didn’t really care if we failed because she’s “only here for the money”.

What kind of a school system allows for a terrible performance like mine, and a teacher to say those kinds of things to students where some, if not most of whom really want their education help them make a difference?

Did you know there are people out there that still can’t grasp proper spelling of even the simplest of words? No one bothered to sit down with them and say, “We have to have a serious discussion about this because one day you’re going to realise that people will laugh and they will judge“. Of course you do.

Fact: In year one we had a writing exercise and I wrote in my book, ‘I went to the shop and bought an ice cream’. My year one teacher crossed out ‘bought’ and above in red pen wrote ‘buyed’. My former primary and high school teacher of a mother was mad as Hell and didn’t take it anymore.
Since that day she’s often talked about how in her home country of the Philippines saying, ”They may be poor, but at least they know how to spell”.

Well with fundamentals like those of course we are now typin lyke dis.

Ironically, I guess, I’m now somewhat of a writer… not a great deal of help from many past teachers there.

So knowing what I know now about my own education at my own school, what would I’ve done to someone like myself if I were to set the rules and properly teach a nation of Generation Y-ers and beyond to have confidence to succeed and have confidence in themselves?
I would have held myself back.
It sounds harsh, but I would have. I wasn’t prepared at all for my High School Certificate and frankly, it’s amazing I graduated at all.

Fact: In year 6, as a way for preparing us for high school, my teacher told us that an essay is “copying out of an encyclopaedia”. Sure is it. No, wait, that’s called plagarism. Thanks for not teaching me how to form an opinion.

If it weren’t for my underlying quest/drive for eventual world domination*, and bitter social hatred toward some females from high school ending with me wanting success revenge** God knows where the hell I would be. I can only imagine that it ends with me writing sentences that….
No, I wouldn’t be writing…

Apart from holding myself back I’d have to say that it’s time we took a look at the issue of favouritism.

Back in my day (you know there’s something wrong with legitimately using that phrase when questioning the younger of your own generation), teachers loved a bit of favourtism (For a while there I was one of those who were favoured). The difficulty of trying to catch up when the ones who understood were emphasised, making you feel smaller and smaller by comparison, and the people who couldn’t grasp it immediately were falling faster and faster and casually being ignored. Years of having a lack of confidence, sometimes ending up in congratulating ourselves for our terrible scores because we don’t know how to aim high anymore.

What I probably would have done there was to have compulsory classes dedicated to where the issue lay. Actually pay attention to the ones by the wayside and put some dedicated help into it.

With myself, it would have been my terrible, terrible writing skills. Understanding exactly where I go wrong and exactly how to solve it. I’m very sure that issue in particular is the reason why I get very nervous during tests. Not to get all psychological rammifications on you (fortunately, the telling of issues on the internet to everyone for some reason doesn’t seem so public): I don’t have confidence to do a written test of any kind, period (ref: ABC in ‘About Me’ blurb) because I freak out and lose any confidence I may have had to begin with. That’s seven years AFTER  left high school and that area shouldn’t even be an issue anymore.

Don’t blame my parents for sending me there, because I was very grounded in where I wanted to go and wouldn’t have given in.

I would love to say more.. LOVE to. So many… things.. choose from. But even I would have lost interest reading past stanza 2. I encourage you to watch the SBS link and listen to Joel Klein’s take on the ‘children first’ school approach. I like his thoughts on reforming the education system. Schools need to be properly assessed.

So what have I learned.
I learnt that our education system is leaving too many people behind. The people left behind are losing confidence.
How are we supposed to create leadership and encourage success in whatever the people of the future choose to do when there are people who aren’t dedicated to the task to begin with and not being dealt with?

*or just becoming a journalist… eventually leading to A GLOBAL MEDIA EMPIRE (as to how is still hazy)
** Success Revenge: People who tell you that you can’t do it and you go “Like Hell I can’t, bitchez!”

Bringing Up Miniscule Issues

Tonight, I decided to test out the ‘Genius’ feature on my iTunes. To test out whether or not it would make a better playlist than anything I’d come up with (it’s not hard). I clicked refresh about five or six times and I realised I harbour too many songs that I basically can’t stand.
Not like I was testing it out to see if I liked it and I’m planning to delete them afterwards, I mean songs I genuinely hate and yet have been on my computer(s) for 5+ years.
I even put songs I actually don’t particularly like on my Sony Ericsson phone, skip over them when they come up and then take months and months until I will actually delete them.
Ridiculous amount of computer space going to waste with my ‘I’m not throwing anything out in case one day I may need it(?)’ OCD-like attitude.
I also obsessively fold things in certain orders, and eat certain chocolate in a particular, and painstakingly long way - but that’s for another time.

A general c-word of a mother. Yep. You read me.

Okay. I don’t usually say the c-word or ‘c-word’ often, but just yesterday I couldn’t hold back any longer on my utter rage at the poorest of poor irresponsibility at a 14 year old strapped to a lie detector on the Kyle and Jackie O program yesterday, and asked a series of very personal questions ultimately leading into a very personal confession about being raped two years previous.
(Note: My quest to not complain has failed abysmally. More later.)
I can’t even begin to fathom what would make a group of adults sit around a table and ask a minor very personal questions that she shouldn’t have been made to participate in. Furthermore, I have to note my utter disgust at the tone and casualness of the girl’s mother in this piece of audio, who seems to have said, “Yeah, I was just asking you whether you’ve have any sexual experiences apart from that.” WHAT?!

I also pretty flabbergasted at the casual tone and use of “sexual experience” from Kyle’s side, but I’ve decided a while ago that I generally hate those two and so his comment wasn’t very surprising. I really can’t wholeheartedly blame those two, who, in their ignorance decided it was a great idea…and their ignorance seems to happen often (Hey, teenage girls, stop listening to  their show. It kills 100 brain cells a minute.) As if they really knew about the situation before it presented itself.
I think moreso, it’s really disgraceful the way her mother suddenly acts a victim on behalf of her daughter when Jackie O offers counselling. Hey, irresponsible mother, how about you should have dealt with this at the time she told you and perhaps have the audacity to not subject your daughter to such questioning?

They weren’t all adults, if the person in question was an adult and was fully aware the topic may be broached and yet still went on air anyway, that’s the responsibility of the adult. No one should have agreed to questioning a girl about something like that. But my God, way to fuck up, and what a terrible excuse for a showboat of a mother.

So, obviously, I’ve failed in my 21 day complain free task I’d set myself up on based on some Oprah-endorsed book which, in principle, seemed like a great idea. But how do I stop a  general complaining conversation when I’m not the one that starts it? I really tried very very hard to steer the conversation away from the complaining, at some points even say, “Yeah we’ve had this conversation before, Can we talk about something positive?” but no, it just steers back. I did notice, however that a lot of people like complaining about the same thing over and over and even things that they weren’t even a part of. It becomes a little exhausting. But I’ll save that for my next blog. I’ve been really holding back for the sake of this 21 day complaining sabbatical that I haven’t followed through on.
I tried really hard by saying positive things even when I didn’t feel that way. But I have to admit, after repeating the same comments, I think I felt more positive about my day just by kind of lying and then it made everything else seem not so bad.

Summer Jamz ‘09

http://passionweiss.com/category/summer-jamz/

Kick it! *starts rocking to Beastie Boys ‘Fight For Your Right’*

Yes, my Southern Hemispherians, I’m aware it’s mid-Winter. But today it’s sunny, I’m wearing a singlet top and my hair is looking good, I’m not dying as a result of fever-related illnesses like most of last week. So it’s time to pretend it’s Summer and click that link.
Oh! Did you say you can see my name on that site?
Yes, I guess you can. Talk about more incentive.

I am way behind in my podcast listening so today I’m catching up on many, and I’ve started with some Hamish and Andy. I have to say, I’m a couple of months behind, but I still can’t believe Steven Segal has his own every drink in ‘Asian Experience’ flavour. The reviews say it all.

Apologies for lateness and etc etc

I have a new job. A daytime job. With less hours to work than the last job with more pay. It’s a bit great.

Yes, it has been a while, and I’m afraid that my blog entry may be slightly short. I don’t know if you can tell but most of my blog entries, if not all of them, are based around me bitching about something that has been pissing me off. But for a while, it’s going to be grinding to a halt.
Last Sunday I was reading an article in one of those lift-outs in the Sun Herald about how many times in a day we complain about menial crap when in actual fact there was no real issue to begin with. As I thought about it, I also thought about a conversation I had years ago with a woman who asked me how I seem to know so many people and I remember saying, “We came together through a mutual hatred of someone and spent most of the initial conversations complaining”. That wasn’t even a joke.
I look back on that frowning at myself. There are, more often than not, situations where I wind up in complaining conversations where most of the conversation is based on stuff from 7+ years ago in high school, and we no longer actually know the person we’re complaining about and the person in question hadn’t had any detrimental affect on our lives at that point in the past where we’d even have the excuse to bring it up to the future.
So why should it matter so much that we should bring up ridiculous bullshit from the past? Is it just a lame excuse for filler? I think it is.

So there’s a book called Complaint Free World. I think you know my thoughts about any Oprah-endorsed products/books, but it seems like a good idea. Twenty-one days complaint free and I started on Monday. So far, I feel more aware of when I’m about to say something I feel is complaint worthy and then I find myself going, “Ehhh… It’s not so bad” and I find myself rewording what I’m about to say before it come out of my mouth. So far, results have been positive for both myself and for people I speak to. I actually mentally feel much better.

Still Don’t Know What Purpose Twitter Has…

… when it’s not some kind of news site. Even celebrities, really, I just can’t bring myself to follow Oprah. Would follow a @ShaunMicallef, but that’s not surprising. However, someecards, or, shall I say, @someecards twitter did direct me to a CNN ‘Top 10 Humour Sites’, and I have to admit that Historical Tweets is now my favourite website (of the moment)

In light of 4th of July, and because I’ve just come from a 4th of July party, here’s a Historical Tweet from @JOHNHANCOCK

and a bit of